Melissa Roske
Certified Life and Personal Coach

For anyone who's ever attended an office party or other obligatory
event, you know only too well the fear and anxiety that often
accompany it.

In fact, a good number of clients whose jobs require that they
attend office parties have turned to me for advice, asking:

"What will I talk about?"

"What if I drink too much and become fodder for office gossip the
next day?"

Or, the most dreaded quandary of all: "How long do I have to stay?"

 

For the answers to my clients' top three office party questions,
read on...


1. "I'm hopeless when it comes to office party conversation. What
am I supposed to talk about? What's appropriate? What's strictly
off-limits?"

Office parties are an excellent opportunity to get to know your
colleagues and superiors on a more personal level, in a festive,
less formal environment.  At the same time, "personal" doesn't mean
inappropriate or offensive. It's one thing to talk to a colleague
about neutral topics, such as outside interests, sports, hobbies,
pets and family life (if the conversation goes that way, of
course); it's another to dig around for details and information
that could possibly embarrass or offend.

If you're uncertain about which subjects of conversation should
remain no-fly zones, consider the usual "hot" topics: politics,
religion, money, sexual preference or orientation - or anything
sexual, for that matter.

It's also inappropriate to talk shop and gossip about colleagues.
Asking your boss for a raise or promotion is another office-party
no-no. Office parties are a social event, and conversations that
focus on work are best left at the office.

And, above all, watch your liquor intake. At an office party, a
loose tongue is a lethal weapon. Not only can too much booze lead
to embarrassing behavior, you might end up saying things you'd
never dare to utter while sober (including off-color jokes and
comments about your boss's wife's new breast implants). My advice?
Enjoy a glass of wine, or maybe two. But once you've reached your
limit, walk away from the bar - and never look back.


2. "What if I do something foolish at the party and I'm the subject
of water-cooler gossip the next day? Can my reputation be saved?"
If you downed a few mojitos too many, stuck a lampshade on your
head and danced the Macarena with the burly guy from IT, it's
possible that tongues will wag the next day. Your goal? Damage
control. The best way to salvage your reputation is to make fun of
the situation before your colleagues have the chance to beat you to
the punch.

That's not to say that you need to make yourself the butt of all
jokes or subject yourself to further public embarrassment or
humiliation. But a bit of self-deprecating humor might come in
handy to diffuse an awkward situation. It sure can't hurt.


3. "I'm shy and dread office parties like the plague. Help!"
Not everyone feels comfortable in social situations - especially if
the social situation in question happens to include everyone from
the chatty office manager to your fire-breathing boss. But that
doesn't mean that you should use your discomfort - or even shyness
- as an excuse to blow off the party. After all, mingling with your
colleagues can lead to unexpected career prospects, and could
indirectly further your career.

If you really detest office parties but don't want to be left in
the professional dust, you might try to make a deal with yourself.
For instance, promise to stay at the party half an hour, and half
an hour only. Once you're at the party, chances are that you'll get
swept up into the spirit of the event, and might even have fun. And
if you don't, it's only 30 minutes out of your life. You can handle
that.

And above all, remember...

A good rule of thumb at an office party is to behave as if you're
being watched. And, in many ways, you are: by your colleagues, your
boss, and everyone else who happens to cross your path. Monitoring
your behavior while trying to have a good time is a Herculean task,
it's true. But the alternative, such as trying to do damage control
after the damage has been done, is far worse!