Thanks-giving Season

Like most crazy-busy women, celebrating my good fortune doesn't happen all that often, if at all. I know I'm lucky, but I don't dwell on it. Not only does giving thanks tend to feel somewhat self-serving and self-indulgent, there's something slightly cheesy about purporting to being grateful. It feels unseemly, somehow.

Not only that: gratitude is big business these days, and admitting to be grateful seems a bit clichéd; trendy, even. Think about it: You can find gratitude expertly packaged in numerous ways: in best-selling books and audio CDs; via web-based "abundance programs," and in various trinkets and tchotchkes peddled on the Internet (think "inspirational journals"; scented gratitude candles; "Blessings" stones; "gratitude rocks"). Or, if you like your gratitude with an infusion of soul, you can always pick up Earth Wind and Fire's aptly named CD, Gratitude!

Now, I don't want to come across as the world's most cynical coach. I'm not - really! But I am wary of using gratitude as a means to deliver inflated, if not empty, promises. That's not playing fair.

That's why, this month, I'd like to consider gratitude a bit differently; the authentic kind, not the 1-800-GRATITUDE variety. The kind even hard-boiled cynics, not unlike myself, can swallow easily.

For more thoughts and non-cheesy way to thanks, read this month's
article, below.

In the meantime, be well - and happy thanks-giving!

Melissa Roske, ACC
Certified Life and Personal Coach
Wheels in Motion Coaching
"Coaching for Women with a Drive for More"
http://www.wheelsinmotioncoaching.com

Telephone: 646-736-8502

Gratitude: 5 Ways to Express it Authentically

Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce aside, there's a lot to be grateful for this holiday season. The problem is, gratitude has gotten a bum rap recently. It's too darn chic; too trendy. Everywhere you turn, there's a grateful celebrity, business tycoon or media mogul reminding us that gratitude is the key to a happy life. The Secret, if you will.

But what does gratitude actually mean?

According to Wikipedia, gratitude is: "The substance of a heart ready to show appreciation, or thankfulness; it is not simply an emotion, which involves a pleasant feeling that can occur when we receive a favor or benefit from another person but rather the combination of a state of being and an emotion; often accompanied by a desire to thank them, or to reciprocate for a favor they have done for you."

Truth be told, there's nothing hokey, or corny, or Hallmark about that definition. It's lovely, truthful and straightforward - completely non-cheesy.

For other practical ways express your gratitude authentically, check out the five suggestions, below.

A verbal expression of thanks is always appreciated, and it makes the recipient feel honored and valued. But if you really want to put a smile on a friend/co-worker/relative's face, sometimes actions really do speak louder than words.

Thank-you gestures that go over well include a small seasonal floral arrangement or bouquet (http://www.1800Flowers.com is great in a pinch); cookie baskets (http://www.cookiesbydesign.com) and teddy-bear baskets (http://www.VermontTeddyBear.com or 1-800-829-BEAR).

If money is an issue - or even if it's not - a warm, heartfelt note, written on beautiful, handmade stationery is always a winner. Not only does it mean more and lasts longer than a spoken "Thank you" or a hurried email or text message, a note demonstrates that you care enough to go the extra mile.

--> 2. Make a list; check it twice.
Compiling a laundry list of what you're grateful for may not be your cup of tea, especially if you're short on time and overloaded with daily responsibilities (think: job/kids/volunteer work/running a household/caring for elderly parents, etc., etc.).

Yet, taking a few minutes to think about what you're thankful for can be a real eye-opener - especially if your list comes up shorter than you expected. In that case, it's time to ratchet up the thanks!

Some people find a one-time gratitude list helpful (you can even post it to your blog, if you have one), while others prefer to document their thanks in an ongoing journal. If you're a journal enthusiast, be sure to check out The Secret Gratitude Book (available December 11, 2007, Atria Books), the latest installment from The Secret folks. Although this volume is more inspirational journal than actual book, you'll enjoy the clever design (magnetic flap closer and a ribbon marker) and hopeful, upbeat message.

--> 3. Give a little; get a lot.
Have you ever noticed that when you're feeling grateful for all the good stuff in your life, there's a greater capacity to give back to others?

Writing an end-of-year check for your favorite charity or educational foundation is one way to express your gratitude. Another is to practice random acts of kindness: Popping a quarter into a stranger's nearly expired parking meter. Giving 15 cents to the guy in front of you at the supermarket checkout who's desperately searching his pockets for exact change. Leaving a favorite paperback on a park bench for someone to discover and savor. Bringing your next-door neighbor a cup of coffee and a doughnut. Donating a few bags clothing to a local homeless or women's shelter.

The possibilities to give back are endless. For more giving ideas check out http://www.charitynavigator.org, America's premier independent charity evaluator.

--> 4. Kick cynicism to the curb.
With all the celebrities and media-hungry moguls taking a ride on the gratitude train, it's easy to be more cynical than Scrooge. But, sometimes, even celebrities are able to hit the right chord when it comes to gratitude.

Deborah Norville, the former Today show bombshell, has just come out with a book on the science and psychology of gratitude called Thank You Power: Making the Science of Gratitude Work for You (Thomas Nelson, 2007). Norville's book - which has been endorsed by the likes of Donald Trump, Anthony Robbins and Joan Rivers (can we talk?!) - has been touted by Dr. Mehmet Oz, Vice Chairman and Professor of Surgery at Columbia University, as "the real secret to happiness."

Despite the inflated claim, Thank You Power does offer some solid, practical and often inspiring words on being grateful - even for the most hardboiled cynic among us.

--> 5. Share the love.
Strangers aren't the only ones who deserve the spoils of our gratitude and appreciation. Our friends and families need to feel the love too.

When was the last time you sent your best friend, mom or favorite cousin a cute card, "just because"? Or told your romantic partner - or even your plumber! - how much you appreciate him?

Again, this doesn't have to be a cheesy Hallmark moment. It can be done with as much humor as you want. As long as the words come from the right place, that's all that counts.

The Mission of Wheels in Motion Coaching

Wheels in Motion Coaching is committed to helping women realize their potential, to successfully balance and streamline their lives, and to attain their goals - one step at a time.

As a Certified Life and Personal Coach and member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF), I help women tackle their most intimate problems and deepest dilemmas, in a caring, sensitive and confidential manner. Let me help you too.

Melissa Roske, ACC
Certified Life and Personal Coach
Wheels in Motion Coaching
"Coaching for Women with a Drive for More"
http://www.wheelsinmotioncoaching.com

Telephone: 646-736-8502

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