It all started in the waiting room of my dermatologist's office.

There I was, innocently leafing through a three-month-old copy of Newsweek, when a stylish-looking twenty-something woman entered the room. She sat down, took out her cell phone and started punching buttons, fast and furiously.

I held my breath. If there's one thing that gets my goat it's the use of cell phones in public places, such as doctors' offices, buses, trains, airport lounges, restaurants, elevators... you get the idea.

I watched in horror as the young woman proceeded to yak it up - right there, in full view, in the doctor's office. She yakked, and she yakked, and she yakked some more. I think she was talking to her mother. Or maybe to her sister in Detroit. Or maybe to her parole officer for all I knew. It didn't really matter. All I cared about is that it was annoying, and I was getting quite upset.

For the first five minutes, I stewed, wondering whether I should say something. "She can't go on forever," I reasoned with myself. "I mean, this is a doctor's office, after all."

Dear reader, I was wrong. Not only could this gal talk a mile a minute, she was LOUD. Very, very loud. And it was getting on my already frazzled nerves.

I tried to tune her out, burying my nose deeper into my dog-eared Newsweek. But let's face it: a three-month old Newsweek is about as exciting as watching women's bowling on ESPN. My mind wandered, settling peevishly on Annoying Cell Phone Girl sitting across from me. If only she would just shut up!

Enough is enough, I thought to myself. I'm taking action. I'm going to say something!

With a warm and (I thought) welcoming smile, I approached Annoying Cell Phone Girl and said, not unkindly: "Excuse me. You probably don't realize this, but your conversation is distracting me from my reading. Would you mind putting away your phone?" I smiled sweetly and returned to my seat.

That's when Annoying Cell Phone Girl let me have it.

"Who the %&@!* do you think you ARE?" she bellowed in my direction. (Thankfully I was the only one in the room or I would have been mortified.) "You can't tell ME what to do! I can talk on my phone whenever I WANT. And there's nothing you can do about it!"

And then, dear reader, she returned to her phone call. Only louder this time. And, even more alarming - she started talking about me.

"There's this obnoxious %@#$@ in the waiting room telling me to stop talking on my phone!" she yelled into the mouthpiece. "Yeah, that's right. She can't tell ME what to do!" She glared menacingly in my direction.

Then she got up, pointed wildly at me and screamed, "Show me the sign where it says 'NO TALKING ON CELL PHONES.' Show me. SHOW ME!!"

I tried to reason with her, to no avail. I even tried to point out the difference between rudeness (i.e., talking on a cell phone in a doctor's office) and consideration (putting said phone back into her tote bag and letting people read). She looked at me as if I had three heads, and continued ranting.

At that point I knew that I'd lost the battle - and the war. Clearly, Annoying Cell Phone Girl didn't want to listen to reason. She especially didn't want to listen to me. So I grabbed my Newsweek and headed to the bathroom, where I proceeded to enjoy my reading material while seated on the closed lid of the toilet.

I'd like to say the moral to this story is, "Instead of bottling things up, say what's on your mind and you will be duly rewarded."

But unfortunately, that's not always the case. Maybe it should be, but, sadly, it's not.

My angry encounter with Annoying Cell Phone Girl is proof of this. It also made me ask myself the question: What could I have done so that the encounter didn't turn as ugly - and as fruitless - as it did?

Should I have approached this woman differently? Should I have told the receptionist (thus, branding myself a tattletale)? Or, maybe I shouldn't have bothered to confront this person in the first place, thereby avoiding the conflict and stress this scenario caused me.

Of course, there's no clear-cut answer here. But there is an important - and simple - lesson to be gleaned. Sometimes confrontation works to your advantage, and sometimes it results in egg on your face. It depends on the situation, the individuals involved and the importance of the source of the conflict.

Would I have done things differently? Probably not. Do I wish that confrontation was easier and always resulted happily and positively? Absolutely.

But, just as there is no "perfect" world, there is no perfect confrontation. The best we can do is to stand up for what we think is right, hold our breath, and hope for the best!

Be well - and watch out for flying cell phones!

Melissa Roske
Life and Personal Coach for Women
Wheels in Motion Coaching

646-736-8502

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